


We Can Make This Work

by faenova



Series: How Five People Fall in Love [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fluff, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-08-09 08:01:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7793728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faenova/pseuds/faenova
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The paladins made a conscious decision to start dating, and that means learning how everyone else ticks. Relationships are hard work, and this one is no exception.</p><p>A series of oneshots and drabbles focused on the paladins figuring out how they work together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lance the Serial Kisser

**Author's Note:**

> This is pure unadulterated fluff. I just wanted them all smooching.

Shiro has decided that the paladins all need work on hand to hand combat. After all, any one if them could lose their bayard for any number of reasons, and then where would they be in a fight? So he and Keith had employed Allura in helping train the other paladins in how to fight without a weapon.

At the moment, Shiro is working one on one with Lance.

It takes him all of seven and a half seconds to pin Lance face down on the ground with an arm behind his back.

Lance stays strangely silent, so Shiro speaks up. " _Now_ do you see what I mean when I say you leave your stance wide open?" Shiro asks.

"Yeah," he mumbles into the floor. "This is kinda hot though."

Shiro... tries not to be flustered by that statement. He really does. "This is a really bad position for you to be in," he tries to deflect. "I could break your arm right now."

"Yep," Lance agrees. "Still hot."

Shiro lets go of him and clears his throat. "We're training right now."

Lance hauls himself off the floor. "What, I can't flirt while we train?"

"We're here so you can learn, not flirt."

"I am learning--are you blushing?" Lance grins at him. "You're like, the posterboy for adorkable. How are you even real?"

"Adorkable? Really?"

"Pidge agrees with me."

Shiro can now feel the blush that Lance had spotted before he even noticed. "We're supposed to be sparring, Lance."

" _Fiiine_ ," Lance whines. "Jeez, I can't even flirt with my own boyfriend."

"Y--boyfriend?"

"Boooyfriend," Lance says again for emphasis. "Or are we not using those words yet?"

"No, we can... use those words," Shiro says hesitantly. "The whole thing just still feels a little surreal to me."

Lance perks up. "I can make it more real for you, if you want." The words come out like one of Lance's usual sleazy pickup lines that Shiro would normally hit him for.

And Shiro can't believe that it's _working_ on him. "Real how?" he asks, keeping his voice carefully even.

He shrugs, like he's contemplating. But Shiro suspects that Lance knows _exactly_ what he wants. "Oh, I dunno... How 'booout a kiss?"

"Now?" is the stupid response his brain decides to spit out.

"No better time than the present."

Shiro probably stays silent for a bit too long. At least, it's long enough that Lance begins to look dejected and is probably about to retract his offer when Shiro finally says "Okay."

Lance looks about as surprised as Shiro feels. "Really?"

"Yeah. Kiss me." He tries to think he looks cool, like he's being suave and asking for a kiss, but he feels like a blushing schoolgirl. He's been on dates before, he even had longterm girlfriends--well, longterm for highschool at least. Point is, he really has no excuse for being so flustered right now.

Lance's entire face _lights up_ like he's been waiting for this opportunity all day. He probably has. "Take off your helmet then," he says excitedly.

Shiro removes his helmet slowly while Lance yanks his off. Then they're both standing with barely a foot between them, and Lance takes another step forward. There are only inches between them at best. Shiro can feel Lance's breath on his face now, and he isn't sure what to do next. It's been a long time since he's been in a relationship, or even kissed someone.

Thankfully, Lance makes the first move. He puts his hands on Shiro's neck and runs his fingers over his hairline as Lance kisses him. It's a little forceful, even if he doesn't use any tongue. Lance just lets their lips get a feel for each other, and it's over before Shiro even realizes it.

"How was that?" Lance beams at him.

"Good," he says. And it was. But, "Could be better."

Lance groans. "Am I that bad of a kisser? I thought Keith was just being Keith..."

"No, no!" Shiro quickly reassures him. "Well, you're inexperienced. But that's okay."

"Just means we have a lot of practicing to do, huh?" Lance waggles his eyebrows.

Well, the guy bounces back fast. Shiro can say that about him with certainty. He laughs. "Yeah, guess it does."

This time Shiro is the one to pull him into a kiss. Lance doesn't protest.

 

~

 

Lance spends the rest of his day practically floating after his make out session with Shiro. He gets giddy just _thinking_ about it honestly. So what if he isn't a very good kisser? He has _four_  people to practice kissing with. He'll be amazing in no time. And the road to perfection never looked so fun.

Which brings him here, to Pidge and Hunk holed up in their lab, poking at something Lance probably could understand if he paid attention but he doesn't care enough to do so at the moment. It looks like a dismantled toaster and that's what he's gonna call it. He flops down on the floor next to the toaster that the two are hunched over.

"Hey Lance," Hunk greets. He doesn't look up from his tinkering.

"Hunk, can I still call you bro?" Lance asks with all sincerity. "'Cause I don't know if I can just erase that from my vocabulary. I can make it sound romantic though. Like, aw, _bro!_  ...See?"

Now, Hunk looks up. "I mean, you started calling me babe about a week after we became friends."

Lance hums thoughtfully. "True, I did. Pidge, I'm gonna keep calling you bro too."

Pidge slowly looks up. Her gaze goes from neutral to suggestive as she smirks. "I have a few ideas about what you could call me, _babe_."

"Ooh, kinky," Lance smirks right back.

"Gross," Hunk says, but there's no emotion behind it. "Pidge, hand me that screwdriver."

Pidge does so, but keeps her eyes on Lance. "Did you need anything or are you just here to talk shop about pet names?"

"I've made it a personal goal to kiss everyone before the day is over."

"And how's that working out for you?" Pidge quirks an eyebrow at him.

"Well it took a solid ten minutes of flirting, but I got to make out with Shiro and it was _a-ma-zing_." He separates each syllable for emphasis.

"Really," Pidge sounds so very not interested. But she carefully sets down what Lance assumes to be some kind of motherboard and leans forward. "Pucker up, then. Let's see what you've got, hot stuff."

"Oh hell ye--" Lance can't even finish his thought, Pidge has taken him by the collar and has gone right to jamming her tongue down his throat.

"Come on Pidge, I need your tiny hands for this part!" Hunk complains. "I can't get my fingers in between the wires."

Lance breaks away from what he can only describe as a tongue battle, which he's decided that he likes quite a bit. "You'll get you turn soon enou-oh! Oh um. Is that a screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

"It's my hand in your pants, what does it look like?"

"I know, but I don't have any good one-liners for people suddenly shoving their hands into my pants and groping my ass." She gives him a squeeze and Lance will later admit that he squeaked. Just a little bit. "Not complaining! Just unprepared."

"You're precious." Pidge pats him on his cheek and climbs off of his lap (when did she even get on top of him like that?) and goes back over to Hunk's side.

He briefly considers complaining. That wasn't _nearly_ as long as his make out session with Shiro, but he'll take what he can get. He also briefly considers asking if he's a good kisser, but he doesn't want to push his luck. He knows the answer he'll probably get. So instead he turns to Hunk. "Your turn!"

"Oh, you were serious about me getting a turn?"

"Everyone means _everyone_ , Hunk. Like Pidge said: pucker up!"

This isn't actually unfamiliar territory for Lance. Hunk was his first kiss in middle school. And yeah, they may have practiced with each other on more than one occasion after the fact. Neither had really considered going any further with it, though both their mothers thought that romance was where they were headed. _As it turns out, they weren't wrong_ , he thinks just before Hunk's lips brush his and his brain shuts off.

Kissing Hunk is just as good as he remembers it. He's gentle, cupping one hand around Lance's face and resting the other on his hip, tugging him closer as Lance slides hid hands behind Hunk's neck. There's an easy rhythm to follow when he's with Hunk. Hunk always seems to know exactly what Lance wants without him having to say anything. Though, Lance doesn't want Hunk to stop kissing him, which is exactly what happens. Lance whines unapologetically at the broken contact.

"Aw, don't give me that look!" Hunk protests when Lance tries to give him puppy dog eyes. "Pidge and I are in the middle of working on this. I'll make out with you later."

"Uugh, but I wanna make out now."

"Later. Promise."

He would protest, but Lance knows Hunk will keep that promise. So he decides to go find Keith.

 

~

 

Automatic sliding sci-fi doors are cool. Lance is the first to admit this. But they absolutely _kill_ dramatic entrances. There is just no good way to barge into a room when there's no door you can slam open. So he's standing behind Keith, who seems engrossed in his book on the couch. "I demand a redo," Lance announces.

Keith, to his credit, doesn't jump at all. He probably knew that Lance was there already, because Keith is... Keith. He's got super-hearing, or something. Who knows. He simply turns his head slightly. "I'm sorry?"

"Our first kiss. I want a do over."

"You can't just redo a first kiss!"

"We weren't dating then, so it doesn't count."

"What kind of backwards logic is--? No. I'm not gonna argue."

"So I get the kiss then?"

"What?"

"You said you're not gonna argue. Does that mean we can kiss?" Lance climbs over the back of the couch and slides in next to Keith.

"Yes," Keith says, though he still looks confused. "It's not a do over though. I'm not letting that shitty kiss go. You're not allowed to forget about it."

"Well I say we've got plenty of time to make up for that, yeah? Make up and make _out_ am I right?"

"Stop snarking and kiss me if you're gonna kiss me," Keith snaps.

He does.

Keith is an aggressive kisser.

Deliberate make outs are _way_ better than spontaneous kissing and running, he decides.  



	2. The Age Discourse

It's about the fourth time that Lance says something along the lines of "Pidge! Protect your virgin ears!" (while practically throwing himself on top of her to do exactly what he said) that she snaps.

"You know I'm older than you, right?" she gets off of the couch that Lance had draped himself over to get to her and moves to the opposite couch where Keith is by himself and opens up her laptop again.

"You are?" He looks confused. "By what, a few months? That's hardly a difference. Neither of us can drink so who cares."

Pidge has to fight the urge to roll her eyes. She settles on closing her laptop again and giving him an irritated Look. "Try a few _years_. I'm twenty five."

The entire room goes silent. Lance whispers a " _what,_ " like his whole world just shattered. "But. Wait. That makes you older than Shiro. By a whole year."

"Yeah, I already knew that," Shiro says. He and Hunk had been discussing something else, but now they're both paying attention to her and Lance's debate. Lance's turns to him with a look of bewilderment.

"Pidge is the oldest, wow," Hunk muses. "Hey Lance, that means you got your wish to date a hot older woman."

"Oh my god," his face suddenly lights up. "You're _right!_ "

"So you faked your age on your Pidge Gunderson profile?" Keith mumbles, but doesn't look up. He's engrossed in...sharpening his knife? He never even uses that thing, why would it need to be sharpened? She ignores it.

"The oldest I've ever been mistaken for is fifteen--do _not_ laugh, Lance--and I didn't wanna draw attention by being older than everyone."

"Wait," Lance puts his hands up in a time-out signal and looks like his world just shifted again. "Wait wait wait _wait_. Am _I_ the youngest?!" he nearly shrieks.

"No, that's Keith," Hunk answers. "He's nineteen."

Lance seems to be having a problem with earth shattering discoveries today. " _What_."

"I was moved up a year," Keith shrugs. "Actually, I might be twenty by now. I haven't really been keeping track of the earth calender since we came up here."

"I think it might be August?" Hunk says. "I haven't checked in a few days."

"Oh cool, I've definitely turned twenty." Keith goes back to whatever he's doing with his knife.

It goes quiet again, which is fine by Pidge. She settles back into the couch and opens her laptop again just as Lance does the same with his mouth, and she's totally prepared to shut down whatever dumb comment he makes. "That's depressing," he mumbles. She rethinks snapping at him and quietly closes the laptop once again. "My birthday's coming up soon and I didn't even notice... how many birthdays have we missed...?"

Hunk shrugs. "We've been in space about six months now... not like we'd have any presents to do birthday parties with anyway."

"Well, no," Lance agrees. "But we can still make cake or something. Keith, when was your birthday?"

"July 20th."

"That's not too late. We should have a birthday party for you, Keith!" Lance is practically bouncing now. He's repositioned himself behind the couch so he's draped across Keith's shoulders. He addresses Hunk and Shiro on the opposite couch: "And we should get Coran and Allura in on this too. I dunno if they celebrate birthdays on Altea but we should find out when theirs are."

Keith gives Lance an odd look, though Lance is at the wrong angle to see it. "You really don't have to. I don't care."

"No, I agree with Lance. Little things like celebrating birthdays... helps." Shiro doesn't say what they help with, but everyone has a pretty good idea. They're at _war_. They need all the happiness they can find, even in stupid or insignificant things.

"Alright, we'll have birthday parties, then." Pidge says. Keith gives her a dirty look. He probably expected her to be as uncomfortable with parties as he is. To an extent, she is. But it's only six other people, all of whom she would trust with her life. She can deal with a party to boost moral. "Hunk can make a cake, gifts can be optional. Maybe if we actually look we can find cool stuff to give when we go planetside."

"Seriously?" Keith groans.

"Stop whining. At the very least, you'll get cake out of it," Pidge assures him. "It'll be fun. Promise."

He grumbles something, but it gets drowned out by Hunk and Lance talking about the food they have on hand in the castle and trying to figure out if it would be suitable to use for cake.

"Hey, I don't care about birthdays either," she says in a low tone so the others can't hear. "But _they're_ excited. And honestly, that's what'll make it fun."

Keith tilts his head, considering, like he'd never thought of it that way before. "Guess it can't hurt."

"That's the spirit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This kinda got away from me at the end, didn't know where it would go after I started and it wound up not being very shippy. But I think it turned out pretty cute.
> 
> For clarification, the ages I'm working with in this story are:  
> Keith and Lance: 20 (Lance is almost 21)  
> Hunk: 21 (he was always the oldest in his grade)  
> Shiro: 24  
> Pidge: 25
> 
> Also, I picked the months/dates at random. Don't read into them too much.


	3. Physical Contact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm running with the assumption that keith is autistic, HAS been diagnosed, but hasn't ever... done anything about it. the foster homes he had never bothered to help him with his issues so he doesn't know some things like stimming or why exactly he does what he does, other than just "it's autism". i knew a few kids like that.

Keith has a hard time adjusting to the changes. He's never been one for physical affection, and when he does give it, he's awkward and stilted about it. Aggressive makeouts are one thing, hands can go just about anywhere and it's acceptable. In the heat of the moment, things like that are easy. A simple hug is a different matter. Should he leave his hands at the other person's back? Play with their hair? Stay completely still? Is it okay to shift around? When is it acceptable to break away? How short is too short, how long is too long? And don't even get him started on the sensory aspect of it. Sometimes he just can't do physical affection of any kind, regardless of whether or not he wants to give it, and it sucks.

He supposes that the trial by fire lessons in physical affection that half his teammates are giving him aren't all that bad. It's an effective teaching method, and he thinks he's starting to get the hang of it.

No, scratch that. He will never be used to Lance trying to sneak in "surprise kisses" or "attack hugs" or "unexpected cuddle times". If he has warning, sure, all those things are nice. But the way Lance does them, Keith ends up giving the blue paladin a black eye more often than not due to pure reflex.

He used to be familiar with Shiro's presence. Once upon a time, he didn't mind any unannounced contact from Shiro. But that was before the Kerberos mission. He was gone over a year, and he came back different, and it feels like he has to get used to Shiro all over again. And now on top of it, he has to get used to three _other_  people simultaneously. It's hard, harder than he wants to admit because it's so stupid. Unless Shiro's told the others, he's the only one who knows about Keith's autism. He came to terms with his disability long ago, but he dreads every conversation of "I sometimes have bad days and flip out for no reason whatsoever," and having to explain that certain things will trigger him to have panic attacks and that his autism is the reason he so often just _doesn't get it_  (and he knows that he doesn't get things most of the time, which leaves him all the more frustrated). It's a pain, and he knows it'll come up eventually, but he'll continue to put it off. Probably until his breaking point. Typical.

It comes up with Pidge first, which is unsurprising. He's taken to being in the room with her when she works, enjoying the repetitious patterns of her typing and whirring away at her different machines. Pidge never questions his motives for sitting with her and staying completely silent. She had once commented once that it was kind of like having a cat in the room. (Shiro once told him the same thing, but Keith wonders if he even remembers saying that. He doesn't remember a lot of things even from his life before the Kerberos mission.)

This particular time, he had come to Pidge's quiet corner to escape Lance. He loves his boyfriend dearly, but Lance was just a bit overstimulating right now. And Keith may or may not have punched him on reflex and given Lance a bad bruise on his shoulder. Of course, his response isn't to apologize like a normal human being, he just ran away. But he if tries to apologize now, he's sure he'll only end up yelling. He needs the cooldown time.

"Just tell him you're having a bad sensory day," Pidge says suddenly, jolting Keith out of his thoughts. "Then he'll stop."

Keith blinks dumbly at her. "You know?"

"In Coran's words: I was supposed to believe you're neurotypical?" Pidge rolls her eyes, but her smile is genuine. "I'm mildly autistic myself. Not severe enough for a lot of outward symptoms. Just enough for it to be a nuisance."

"Wait, you are?" He sits up to look at her. "That... explains a few things, actually."

She shoots him finger guns before returning to her typing. "Seriously though, he'll understand if you just explain it. Right now Lance thinks you're rejecting his romantic advances and he's kind of distressed."

"Oh," he says stupidly. He stands up. "Yeah. I should probably fix that."

"Probably," she agrees. "Hey," she looks up at Keith. "Kiss before you go?"

Keith feels guilty before he even says his next words. "Not... not right now. Sorry. Don't think I can handle anything physical right now."

"Cool. Next time, then."

He nods at her, a bit awkwardly. She doesn't seem to notice, but he has nothing else to say so he takes his leave.

 

~

 

Lance isn't that hard to find. Within the first week of being in the Castle of Lions he established the observation deck as his brooding place, much like Keith's brooding place is--well. Actually, it's wherever Pidge happens to be. That, or the training deck. Depends on if he's in a hitting-while-brooding mood or not.

Lance is exactly where Keith predicted, and Coran thankfully isn't in sight. He doesn't want to have to awkwardly pull Lance away from him to that they can talk. He sits down on the floor next to Lance, leaving about a foot between them. Lance flicks his eyes towards the empty space, like he's thinking about closing the distance, but he puts a hand on his shoulder (the one Keith bruised, he thinks, inwardly wincing) and looks back up at the starry windows.

"Sorry I hit you," Keith starts. "I just--"

"Nah, this is what we do, right?" Lance interrupts him. "Gotta fight a little bit. Let out the tension."

"What? No. No that's not why I hit you, it's not tension. I hate being touched."

Lance looks at Keith again with something that Keith thinks is confusion. Or it might be irritation. It's hard to tell. "What does _that_  mean?"

"It means I have... issues. With sensory stuff. Sensory issues. Touch is a big one."

Lance stares at him and Keith can feel his cheeks start to burn. Of course he wouldn't know what sensory issues are. Now he has to explain--

"Like, aspie freakouts?" Lance asks suddenly.

Keith startles out of his thoughts. "Uh... yeah. Autism stuff."

"Oh man, that explains so much!"

"I... oh." Keith is pleasantly surprised. "So I don't have to explain it to you?"

"Nah, my sister has Asperger's. And I have a cousin who's way more autistic than she is, too. So I know stuff." Lance shrugs. "No touch at all? Really? We were making out literally yesterday."

"Well. Some stuff is okay, but just... don't sneak up on me. Give me some warning."

"Yeah I can totally do that!" Lance laughs, a little bit hysterically. "No this is great, I thought that you were mad at me or something!"

Lance makes a move towards Keith's hands, like he's going to hold them, and Keith jerks away on instinct. Lance's expression droops and even Keith can recognize it. "Not today," Keith says quickly. "Can't do touch today."

"Oh." Lance seems... disappointed? But not devastated. That's good. He can deal with dissapointment. "Okay then. Lay down."

"What?"

"Lay down next to me." Lance settles himself on the floor with his hands behind his head. "We can stargaze. Don't have to touch."

Keith follows suit, and he risks being closer to Lance now that he knows he isn't going to push handholding or anything. "Sorry," he blurts out.

"What for?"

"For my, you know, everything. Not being able to do stuff a lot of the time."

"Hey, it's okay. If I need extra helpings of cuddles I'll just go to Hunk instead of you. Hunk is used to me being extra clingy."

"So this... this is okay, then? You don't mind it."

"No, I don't mind. This is nice. Especially the part where you aren't punching me."

Keith winces. "Did I hurt you badly?"

"I'm alright, it didn't actually hurt that bad. I'm just a drama queen, promise." Lance turns his head to look at Keith and points at the glass ceiling. "Come on, the stars are up there. You can't see them if you're staring at me."

"You're nicer to look at than stars."

Lance's cheeks go bright red and he lets out a strangled noise that might be a wheeze, or a whine. He quickly looks back up at the ceiling.

Keith grins, "So you can dish it but you can't take it?"

"Shut up!" he squeaks. "Shush your beautiful mouth."

Keith laughs. It doesn't take long for Lance to join in.

 

~

 

Keith and Shiro are walking side by side in the hall when Shiro nudges Keith's hand, a silent invitation to hold it as he talks. Keith deliberately switches which side of Shiro he's on so that he can grab the prosthetic arm, rather than the flesh one. Shiro stops mid-sentence and tenses up.

"What?" Keith asks. It comes out sounding harsher than he intends. He's just curious. Shiro almost looks like he isn't going to say anything, but Keith keeps his gaze firmly locked on Shiro's tense expression. "Takashi," he prods. "What's wrong."

Shiro lets out a long sigh. "You don't have to do that," he says under his breath, like it's hard to get out.

"Do what?" Keith scrunches up his face in confusion. The metal arm twitches in his hand, and he looks down. Oh.

"It's fine. You don't need to... prove a point," he says again.

Keith bites his lip. Wow, he's going to sound really insensitive. But communication is key, right? "I prefer this arm."

"You--what?"

"Bad day," he mumbles. And he hopes Shiro remembers all the times Keith simply had to say "bad day" and Shiro would know that he was having a sensory trip or was just too overwhelmed with the world to interact normally. Shiro would almost always excuse odd behaviors if they had been prefaced with a "bad day" statement. But he doesn't know if Shiro remembers all of his issues. He's had to spell out several things that Shiro's memories have been fuzzy on, so he supposes it would be easier to just go ahead and explain before Shiro asks and then feels bad about having to ask. "Physical contact is too much right now. This is better. It's still... it's still your arm, but. It feels different. It doesn't feel like I'm touching someone. It's less overwhelming."

Shiro looks like he isn't sure how to process that, so Keith continues. "If you don't want me touching it, I won't. But I don't think I can hold your other hand right now."

"No. I mean yes, you can hold this... my hand." Shiro stumbles over his words, but at the end of it he smiles at Keith. "This is good."

"Good." Keith leans into the prosthetic a little bit, and Shiro relaxes. They keep their hands entwined all the way to the dining hall.

 

~

 

They're greeted by Lance and Hunk, who look like they've been waiting for them to walk through the door. "Keith," Lance says very seriously. "I am about to change your life."

Hunk doesn't look as sure. "Lance, it might not work."

"Shh. No. This is going to be great."

"What will be great?" Shiro asks. "Did you guys do something special for dinner?"

"Better," Lance grins. "Keith, you said you can't touch people most of the time, but it just occurred to me that you're a poor isolated aspie who's probably never been properly hugged."

"I'm sorry, what? I've been hugged. At least three of you hugged me yesterday, you were _there_."

"No no. We've been doing this all wrong. I've been hugging you like I'd hug Pidge. I need to hug you like I would hug my sister."

Pidge snorts from her place at the table. "Because THAT doesn't sound weird at all."

Hunk sighs. "What Lance _means_  is that you need to be crushed."

"You all lost me," Keith says. He clings to Shiro's prosthetic like it can rescue him from this nonsense. "Why do I need to be crushed?"

"Bone crushing hugs!" Lance looks far more excited about this than he should be. "My sister is like you, she hates people touching her. _But_. She likes being squished, or being hit. Like, rough or firm touches. You like aggressive makeouts but you can't stand casual hugs, so it would make sense!"

"Uh... okay?"

"Again, what Lance is trying to say," Hunk offers a translation once more. "Is that he wants me to hug you to confirm this theory."

Keith nods slowly. "Nnnow?"

"You don't have to," Hunk says, at the same time Lance shouts "Yes now."

He looks between his two boyfriends. Keith gives an exaggerated sigh. "Alright, try it." He always forgets how fast Hunk can be. Keith is scooped up with no effort, and he's fully prepared to open his mouth and demand to be let down. He only gets as far as that first part, then closes it and stays very still. His skin isn't crawling at the contact, which is... nice? He thinks?

Lance is looking at him expectantly. "Well?"

"I'm still trying to decide if I like this."

"Maybe someone should sit on you instead, that's more pressure--"

"Aaand now I want down."

"Oh come on!" Lance shouts as Hunk gently puts him down.

"Experiment on Keith later. Food now," Pidge says.

Everyone files in to take seats at the table. Keith aimlessly follows, marveling at the fact that he doesn't feel the gross tingly after-effect that usually lingers for hours on his skin after touching someone on a bad day. It was nice. _Really_  nice. Maybe Lance really is onto something with the pressure thing. It does make sense in hindsight.

"Well?" Lance asks with a mouth full of food goo. Pidge mutters something about closing his mouth while he chews. "Did you like it?"

"Yeah," Keith admits. "I think I did."


	4. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro's memory problems are bigger than they first appear.

Keith sometimes mentions things that Shiro has no recollection of. But everyone has things they don't remember while others do, so he doesn't pay it any mind at first. It takes a while until Shiro finally realizes that not only is he missing memories of things that happened with Keith, but other basic memories also escape him. Lance makes a lighthearted joke when Shiro doesn't remember the president's name, thinking it was just a brainfart. But Shiro's heart dropped into his stomach and all week, he was unable to remember the name of the person running his country.

He's finally forced to admit that his year with the Galra isn't the only major lapse in his memory.

It terrifies him.

Shiro no longer recalls when or how he met Keith. He knows he graduated from the Garrison. He _had_  to, otherwise he wouldn't have been on the Kerberos mission. But he doesn't remember the finals for the last semester or even graduating, so sometimes he wonders how he made it out here in the first place before he can rationalize that he did in fact graduate. The Kerberos mission itself--months in space with the Holts, and it feels like one big blur without any details to draw on. He remembers being close to two specific people in his class at the Garrison, and he knows their faces and names, but he can't remember what either of them are like. He can't remember if his childhood pet was a dog or a cat. His mother's maiden name escapes him. All of junior high just seems to be gone.

He sometimes gets flashbacks, if there's something to trigger a memory. But other than Keith himself, there isn't much in an intergalactic space war to trigger good memories. It's more likely for him to look at Galran schematics and flash back to the arena than he is to look at Keith and get a memory from before Kerberos.

So he's grateful when a good flashback does happen.

The five of them are in the training room when Keith triggers another memory. He only catches the tail end of a conversation with Pidge as Keith says "I can't keep pretending--"

_Keith is small, a waif of a thing even at fourteen. He sports well-worn clothes and an arm brace. His bare feet are dusty from the dirt in what Shiro recognizes as a backyard, possibly his. But it's hard to focus on the background when Keith is right in his face, fidgeting uncomfortably._

_"You can tell me," Shiro says. His voice is higher, almost unrecognizeable as his own. "C'mon, dude. I promise I won't laugh."_

_Keith hisses something under his breath, looking down at the floor so Shiro can't even try to read his lips. Shiro just looks confused when Keith looks back up, red coloring his cheeks. Louder this time, he blurts out, "I like you, Takashi!" and immediately looks like he regrets all his life choices. "Please don't think I'm weird, I'm sorry, I know you're straight and you're older than me but I just--I can't keep pretending--"_

"--that I don't need work with my shield. I never used a shield before Voltron, I'm still learning."

Lance gasps dramatically. "Did you just admit you're _not_  perfect?" Pidge snorts behind her hand.

Hunk puts a hand on Shiro's shoulder and he turns away from the other three. "You okay?" Hunk asks. "You look like you, y'know, weren't here for a second."

"Oh." He always forgets that the others can tell when he checks out. "I'm fine. It wasn't a bad memory."

"Shiro?" Keith, of course, is the one who breaks away from his teasing with Lance to immediately focus on Shiro. "You remember something?"

"Yeah. It's fine," he repeats. But maybe it's not. He doesn't know how he responded. Keith was young in the memory, Shiro wasn't much older, and he doesn't remember what he was like as a kid. What if he said something nasty? What if he made fun of Keith? He knows some adults who are perfectly nice now who were bullies as kids. Maybe he's one of them. "Well..."

All four of them at once seem to zoom in on that one word. No one says anything, waiting for him to continue. So he looks to Keith. "Uh... do you remember when we were kids--I think, it might've been at my house? And you said you liked me?"

Keith's eyes widen. "You forgot--"

Lance cuts him off. "You had a crush on Shiro?"

"Wh--we're _dating_  him now, what does it matter?!"

"Because that's adorable. You confessed to him and everything!"

Keith looks ready to start another fight, but Shiro interrupts him. "I didn't say anything mean to you after that, did I?"

Keith blinks, confusion plainly written on his face. "No? Why would you think that?"

Shiro shrugs helplessly. "I don't know. Anything's possible."

"You said you already knew, but that you didn't return the feelings, and then you hugged me. Seriously, Takashi," Keith switches to his first name, something the others are just starting to do as well. "You would never say anything mean to me."

"I know. I mean, I _hoped_ \--" he corrects himself. "I just don't remember anymore."

The reaction from the others is instantaneous. Hunk and Lance share worried looks. Pidge's mouth presses into a thin line and her brows furrow. Keith steps forward, puts a hand on Shiro's arm (his flesh one) and gives him a concerned look which appears more patronizing than he knows Keith means it to be. "Hey. If you're worried about not remembering, you can talk to us. You know that."

Shiro nods. It's what he just did, after all. But it's hard to ask for every little thing that comes up. It's bound to get tiring for his partners, he's sure. It's tiring on him just to remember.

"I'm serious," Keith emphasizes.

"Yeah, okay. I will. Promise."

 

~

 

Promises are hard to keep.

Especially when it's 0300 castle time, everyone is asleep, and Shiro is shaking from a dream he doesn't actually remember. No one needs to be woken up for this, it happens too often and there's nothing he even remembers to talk about. He won't be getting back to sleep at this point, so he puts on a shirt and goes for a walk.

He passes each paladin's door and pauses to make sure it's silent. He does the same for Allura and Coran's rooms when he gets to that section of the ship. He gives a brief thought to eating something and checks the kitchen for any fresh foods they picked up planetside, but nothing seems appealing to his stomach that's still churning from the dream. He tries the observation deck for a little while, but the stars start to give him a headache. He decides to take a peek at the hangars instead. Just to make sure everything is clear. Just in case.

The walk is long but he doesn't care. He has a place to get to which means he's not thinking too hard about anything except his destination. He goes to Blue first and nothing's out of the ordinary. Same with Yellow. When he checks on Green, the extra light in the hangar isn't immediately noticeable as the door slides open. The hazard lights around the room almost drown out the dim glow coming from Pidge's electronic setup next to the green lion's paw. It takes her a few minutes to look up, and by that time he's been standing over her for a good while. He guesses that Green finally decided to alert her of his presence. It wouldn't be the first time she's gotten this lost in her work.

"Shit, what time is it?" She takes off her glasses to rub her eyes, then puts them back on to peer at her screens. "Oh. Not that late."

"Everyone else went to bed hours ago," he reminds her.

"Not that late for _me_ ," she corrects. "Did you go to bed with everyone else, then?"

"I was asleep for a while." He sits down next to her. "What are you working on?"

"Decoding the files we snatched from the cargo ship yesterday." She scoots over to make room for Shiro. "Or, the day before yesterday, I guess."

Shiro scoops Pidge up and takes her spot, putting her in his lap. "Tell me what you're doing."

"Well, this is the encrypted code." She points to a long string of numbers that are scrolling by in a box. Shiro doesn't try to focus on them or else his head might start spinning worse than when he was trying to stargaze. "And over here is..." she trails off, and cranes her neck back to look at Shiro. "Since when are you interested in the technicals of my work?"

He shrugs. "Maybe I want to learn."

"Are you okay?" She shifts in his lap so she's facing him. "Well jeez, you look terrible now that I get a good look at you. What woke you up?"

"Don't remember."

Pidge doesn't look happy with that answer.

"I'm serious. I don't usually remember my dreams."

"Your nightmares, you mean."

He grunts in response. Pidge sighs and turns back around, typing in what he assumes is perfect Altean, but he can't tell. The screens shut down one by one. "What are you doing?"

"We _both_  need sleep. And if we just say we're going to bed and leave, we're both gonna sneak back out and stay up." She clicks the laptop shut. "So I'm going to make sure you don't sneak out. And you're going to make sure I don't sneak out."

Shiro chuckles. "That sounds like we'll both just be staying up waiting for the other to leave their room."

"Nope." She stands up. "We're both gonna sleep in my room."

"Oh," he says blankly. He lets her take his (robot) hand and she leads him back to her room. It's only when the door slides shut behind them that he asks "Are you sure?"

"I'm not asking you to have sex with me, I just want to cuddle. We've done that plenty."

He nods. He's _tired_ , he has been for a while. But he feels his hands starting to shake again and if he has more nightmares, if he wakes her up, if he accidentally lashes out against her... "I'll just go back to my room. I won't escape, promise--"

She catches his (human) hand as he tries to turn away. "No. You're always alone, always dealing by yourself. It might help you if someone else is with you."

"Or I might hurt you."

"Can't hurt me anymore than I hurt myself with my sleep schedule."

"That's not what I--"

"Shut up and get in bed." She gives him a tug, and he finds himself sitting down on her bed. She immediately loses her pants and glasses, turns out the light, and jumps on the mattress next to him. "Gotta lay down if you wanna sleep, big guy." He complies, lying down on his side. Pidge shuffles around for a minute to grab the blanket and toss it over the both of them. She settles in against his chest while the blanket falls over them. Shiro lays completely still, and kind of stiff, and eventually Pidge says "You're really out of it, huh."

"Mhm."

"You sure you don't remember anything?"

"Nothing," he confirms. "But I can still... I don't know."

Pidge hums thoughtfully and wraps her arms around Shiro. She rubs small circles in his back with her thumbs and whispers "It's okay. It'll be okay."

Shiro sighs and relaxes a little bit under her touch. He thought she would fall asleep first and he'd have another restless night, but he wakes up from a dreamless sleep what feels like moments later. He finds that he's got Pidge completely trapped, half rolled on top of her with his his arms caging her like a stuffed animal. She doesn't seem to mind or be in any discomfort though. He tries to move and she snorts in her sleep, shifting and then settling back into his arms. He stays perfectly still then, not wanting to wake her. Besides, he knows she has an alarm. He can wait to get up until it goes off.

He has a pretty good view until then, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haven't updated in a while. this is just a "whenever-i-feel-like-writing-it" project after all, but im trying to write more in general so maybe thisll get updated more frequently.
> 
> thank you all for the lovely comments! im sorry if i didnt get back to all of them, im awful at that. but i appreciate all of them and im so glad you guys like this incredibly self-indulgent story!


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